i am talking seriously!!!

now i am not joking at all...
i am serious...
seriously...
can i leave here??
i am tired being at here d...
dad...
can i quit school now??
can i transfer to another school??
or transfer to cyber also can...
i really dun want stay at here anymore...
i only feel sad n uncomfortable all the time...
i lost my smile recently...
i really hard to smile or laugh now...
a lot of things happened...
i really can't manage to accept it...
my heart is cold now...
to all the things...
i always act strong in front of others...
every time when i act strong...
my heart was bleeding and crying...
but no one know about it...
I REALLY WANNA LEAVE HERE NOW!!!!
but why i have no choice??
is it because i am gan luo wei...
so i can't decide anythings in my life??
can i temporary quit GAN LUO WEI's post??
can i run away from all the responsibility??
i really tired for being GAN LUO WEI d...

Gan Luo Wei...
having alot of burdens n responsibilities...
at home...
she need to be a good daughter to her parent..
she need to be a good granddaughter to her grandma...
she need to be a good sister to all of her sisters...
she need to take care all the family members including her relatives...
she need to help his dad to do a lot of stuff...
she need to be a boy sometimes although she is a girl...
she need to be the back up for her family...
she need to counsel her sisters if they face any problems...
she need to learn and know every things that maybe others duno...
she need to have a older mind although she is only 20 years old...
she need to help parent to solve any problems that happened in family...
she need to be strong in family...
she need to....
a lot of things are waiting for her by day to day...
and she need to face and solve them her own...

at outside...
she need to be a strong girl...
she need to be a good friend to all her friend..
she need to be a good student to her teachers n lecturer...
she need to be....

WHY??
she has no choice to her life??
WHY??
she dun have a reliable friend at here??
WHY??
she can't be herself at here??
WHY??
in her life only got invisible and visible stress??
WHY WHY WHY????

since i am being Gan Luo Wei...
so i had no choice to choose my life and my fate...
i am only can cry silently...
even sometimes i feel like wanna commit suicide...
but i won't so silly...
coz i dun want make my parent sad n hurt...
if God really want me to died now...
the most reason that i unwilling to go is all my family members...
i let go all the things d...
except my family...

arghhhhhh~~
i am going to CRAZY d la!!!!!!!!!
can i leave here???????